Monday, June 15, 2009


We are what we make of us

1. The fraudulent accounting practices of Tamilnadu Housing Board. I exercised my Right to Information and saved over Rs.20000/- which I would have lost to it otherwise.
2. The ever suave Mr. A. M. Swaminathan, I A S of Tamilnadu Civil Service. When I first interacted with him he was the Secretary, Metropolitan Development Corporation. When I first met him at the Secretariat, he was Secretary, Planning. Later to the best of my information he acted as Public Secretary and Revenue Secretary. Never in my life I had met such a personality of humble disposition.
3. The Commercial Tax Officer who rudely said that his blood boiled at my sight and planned to instill fear in me to fix his bribe enhanced in advance, was shunted out to another area within days on my representation of his unbecoming behaviour to the Commissioner, Commercial Tax Department, Tamilnadu

Sunday, May 6, 2007

The untold, cruel
cow slaughtering

For Hindus, cow is a sacred animal. According to Vedic civilization the COW is our mother, is to be given special protection. People worship cow as “Gomata”. “Gopuja” is a sacred ritual to respect cows which gives us pleasure by supplying milk essential for our growth and development. In the Vedic literature (Rig Veda 9.4.64) the words Gobhih Prinita-Matsaram indicate that one who, being fully satisfied by milk is desirous of killing the cow is in the grossest ignorance. Bhagavad-Gita Gita explains “Mamivamso Jiva-Bhutah (Bhagavat Gita 15.7), all living entities are part and parcel of God.In India most of the states have laws that prohibit cow slaughter and cruelty to other animals. Except Communist ruled Kerala and West Bengal, it is a crime to engage in certain cruel acts toward cows. Most states arrest, prosecute and punish people who engage in unusual, cruel methods to inflict harm on animals. In Kerala and West Bengal, two communist and Muslims dominated states, there is no law for the ethical treatment of animals.If you wake up in the early morning at 3:00 and walk out to any market place in Kerala, you can see horrible, heartbreaking, and cruel scene of cow slaughtering. Cows are tied up in a short rope to prevent moving. Then a water pipe with steel wire is inserted into the mouth of the cow deep into its stomach. Calcium oxide (commonly known as lime) and other chemical added water are pumped into the cow’s stomach for 3 to 5 minutes to increase its weight for profit. It is an inhumane and unhealthy practice inflicting pain on the cow and disease for the meat eaters. The helpless cow routinely suffer broken bones and feel terrible pain from callous handling when butchers roughly grab the cow by their legs and shackled down prior to slaughtering. After flooding the stomach with water added with calcium oxide (lime), the cow is knocked on the head with a big iron hammer, then dismembered while still conscious. Other cows waiting in line for slaughtering watch and moan loudly. Do butchers and meat eaters ever think of the pain cows suffer when they are dragged, mishandled and beheaded while still alive?The unethical, cruel and brutal killing of cows is painful to watch. The cows are being butchered in the illegal slaughter houses mushrooming in every nook and corner of Kerala. Sources reveal that there are more than 7,000 illegal, unhygienic, primitive cow slaughter hoses in Kerala. The slaughter of cows is already banned in most Indian states, but persists in Kerala, that has significant non Hindu population. The open, cruel and inhumane slaughter of cows is a painful scene, an immoral and brutal criminal act. Thousands of malnourished, mistreated cows are openly slaughtered in public view illegally and unethically every day in Kerala and West Bengal. The cruel process of transporting malnourished, unhealthy cows for early morning slaughter for food is the worst form of human activity one can undertake. The cruelty to animals which causes unacceptable harm is one of the sadistic forms of human behavior.Psychological studies have demonstrated that individuals deliberately inflicting suffering on animals are more prone to do harm on humans. People with criminal personality, anti social personality disorder have a history of torturing animals, a behavior disorder known as zoosadism. Criminal records indicate that a history of cruelty to animals is one of the traits that regularly appear in the records of rapists and murderers. Cruelty to animals is one of the components of behavior traits violent criminals. No wonder, murder, rape and violent crimes are on the increase in Kerala.In India, the majority of the people are vegetarians and crime rates among vegetarians are the lowest in the world. Hindus consider cow is sacred and consider cow as Gau Mata and it is closely linked true events of Lord Krishna and Lord Shiva. Srimad-Bhagavatam (1:16:22) depicts an incident where Pariksit Maharaja was touring his kingdom where he found a man trying to kill a cow. Immediately, Pariksit Maharaja took his sword and wanted to kill the man. Pariksit Maharaja declared “there is equal protection for the animals and the man in our kingdom”.In Srimad-Bhagavatam, this grizzly fate of animal killers is described by Narada Muni to king Pracinabarthi, who was killing animals in so called sacrifices.“Bho Bhoh Prajapate RajanPasun Pasya TvayadhvareSanjnapitam Jiva-SanghanNirghrnena SahasrasahEte Tvam Sam Prati kasanteSmarato Vaisasam TavaSanpuretan Ayah-kutaisChindanty Utthita-manyavah”.“O ruler of the citizens, my dear king, please sees in the sky those animals which you have sacrificed without compassion and without mercy in the sacrificial arena. All those animals are awaiting your death so that they can avenge the injuries you have inflicted upon them. After you die they will angrily pierce your body with iron horns (Srimad Bhagavatam 4:25-7-8)”.The communist/Muslim/Christian dominated Kerala and West Bengal cruelty to animal and cruel cow slaughter persist. Government in these two states are afraid to implement laws for animal protection and existing laws are lax and seldom enforced for fear of Muslim/Christian pressure and it will surely dent their vote bank.Whenever Hindu organizations or Hindu spiritual leaders protest against cruelty to animals and cow slaughter, the phony secularists and westernized media project them as communalists and anti Muslim and anti Christian. The same bogus politicians, pseudo secularists and leftist intellectuals keep silence when asked why pig slaughter is banned in all Islamic countries. Kerala Visual medias are worried about the quality of meet and unhygienic meat process plants. But they are either ignore or keep mum on the cruel treatment of animals and brutal slaughter of cows in thousands of illegal slaughter houses mushrooming all over Kerala. The unholy Communist/Christian/Muslim and anti Hindu media alliance is preoccupied with appeasing the appeasement of meat eating population and not give damn about the sacred sentiments of cow worshiping Hindus. They failed to realize or ignore that cow is a sacred animal and cows are an integral part of Indian civilization and economy.It is time for Hindus to join together and pressure the government to enact legislation to prevent cruelty to animals and ban cow slaughter. Hindus should promote humane education to promote vegetarian diets and to stop meat eating. Special education should focus on instilling respect and compassion for animals and respect for our sacred cows. Organized efforts are needed to force the government to enact statutes to provide care, humane treatment of animals and mandatory kindness.Animals have rights, cows are sacred, let us protect our sacred heritage, our sacred Gomata have every right to live. Protect our cows, save our nation.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

We are what you make us

We are living in an age of Aids, Terminal illness, Lies, Fanaticism,Televangelism, Terrorism, Communalism and Casteism. Wealth has assumed the status of God. Moneymaking has become the main pursuit of life and the family comes under the least cared category. Spouses and children are groaning under the denial of true love and care. We may not believe in Satan, Devils and Demons. But we carry them in our pockets under different shapes and names. You may call it Mobile Phones, Credit Cards or hidden video instruments. T V has invaded our homes with trash, trash and trash. Our children know better about female anatomy than we knew at their age. Those who compere do not dress modestly and we look for openings and curves in them more than listening to their program. Televangelists go scot-free under our vote-bank politics and democracy and they claim that they have cured Aids, Cancer etc., - perhaps Rabies too - and our Judicial System does not appear to have any law by their side to book them while poor Quacks are caught and punished instantly. My advice to you is - “Close your eyes - be an optimist and tell others what you, the optimist see under closed eyes - light or dark?
K. Mathew Thomas, Editor

We are what you make us

(Sent by Dr.G.V.Sudheendra) Source:Internet
Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. You can’t take your time.
No pencil or paper! OK? Let’s find out just how smart and clever you really are. Ready?

... GO!!!

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don’t take as muchtime as you took for the first question.
(You know you took too much time.)

SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? < /B> ; ;
ANSWER: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.Don’t believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day.
Maybe you will get the last question right?

Mary’s father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

ANSWER: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NONO! Of course not. The fifth daughter’s name is Mary. Read the question again. You R the WEAKEST LINK!! Pass this along to someone else who could stand a little fun and a challenge today. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Monday, March 12, 2007

We are what you make us

If we work upon marble, it will perish;
If we work upon brass, time will efface it;
If we rear temples, they will crumble to dust;
But if we work upon immortal souls;
If we imbue them with principles -
with the just fear of God and love of fellow man
We engrave on the tablets something which will
brighten all eternity.
- - Daniel Webster

Cancer & tobacco

Twelve different types of cancers are queuing up to embrace you and carry you to your final destination earlier than destined. In the process while you writhe in torturous pain, your hapless near and dear can only grieve on your fate as well as theirs.

Breast Cancer, Colon Cancer, Lung Cancer, Prostate Cancer,
Bladder Cancer, Melanoma, Uterine Cancer, Kidney Cancer,
Pancreatic Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Stomach Cancer, and Cervical Cancer and HUNDREDS OF OTHER KILLER DISEASES

The use of tobacco in any form can lead you to doom.The wise realises this and never venture into tobacco use. Those wise who adventured into the holocaust out of ignorance invoke their god-gifted will power and get out of the rut. One among the creeds of The Sales Digest is creating awareness on tobacco hazards The Editor of The Sales Digest has seen the agonising pain of a Cancer patient for months together and has become a votary of Euthanasia. Please stop tobacco use and save you from tobacco related cancer, ANGUISH AND PAIN.
K. Mathew Thomas

Friday, March 2, 2007

Think intelligently - Open up your eyes

The following question, I have raised
in an international forum: -

How would you react to Church Heads participating in Commercial Evangelists' money-spinning carnivals?

More on the above question! I am a regular viewer of Commercial Evangelists' soap operas telecast through different channels all over the world where they claim of Holy Spirit’s intervention, divine healing and go on misinterpreting Bible to suit their interests. What I find most disgusting is the presence of ecclesiastical community, mostly Bishops, sharing the podium, nodding, singing and gesturing in appreciation of misplaced Evangelism. Judas Iscariot betrayed Christ for 30 silvers by kissing him. Here the Evangelists are warmly kissed betraying and tarnishing the image of Jesus Christ and Christianity either for a TV-Screen presence or for some tangible returns. The pathetic fact is that the presence of church-heads gives respectability and credibility to the Commercial Evangelists that help them in their collection drive and their building personal assets all over the world. Is this not a deplorable conduct that is hostile to Christianity and the faith of true Christians?

Out of the several answers I have
received, voters chose the one below
as the Best Answer:

If God has intended that man should learn His religion from a book, the Bible, surely God would have given that book to man. Christ would have given that book to man. Did He do it? He did not. Christ sent His Apostles throughout the whole universe and said, "Go ye, therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you."

Christ did not say, "Sit down and write Bibles and scatter them over the earth, and let every man read his Bible and judge for himself." If Christ had said that, there would never have been a Christianity on the earth at all, but a Babylon and confusion instead, and never one Church, the union of one body. Hence, Christ never said to His Apostles, "Go and write Bibles and distribute them, and let everyone judge for himself." That injunction was reserved for the Sixteenth Century, and we have seen the result of it. Ever since the Sixteenth Century there have been springing up religion upon religion, and churches upon churches, all fighting and quarreling with one another, and all because of the private interpretation of the Bible.

Christ sent His Apostles with authority to teach all nations, and never gave them any command of writing the Bible. And the Apostles went forth and preached everywhere, and planted the Church of God throughout the earth, but never thought of writing

Up to that time the whole world for three hundred years did not know what the Bible was. Hence, they could not take the Bible for their guide, for they did not know what constituted the Bible. Would our Divine Saviour, if He intended man to learn his religion from a book, have left the Christian world for three hundred years without that book? Most assuredly not.

It is Divine Faith alone by which we give honor and glory to God, by which we adore His infinite wisdom and veracity. That adoration and worship is necessary for salvation.

We must have Faith in order to be saved, and we must have Divine Faith, not human faith. Human faith will not save a man, but only Divine Faith. What is Divine Faith? It is to believe, upon the authority of God, the truths that God has revealed, that is Divine Faith. To believe all that God has taught upon the authority of God, and to believe without doubting, without hesitation. For the moment you begin to doubt or hesitate, that moment you begin to mistrust the authority of God, and, therefore, insult God by doubting His word. Divine Faith, therefore, is to believe without doubting and without hesitating. Human faith is belief upon the authority of men, on human authority. But Divine Faith is to believe without doubting, without hesitating, whatsoever God has revealed upon the authority of God, upon the Word of God.
Fr. Arnold Damen, S.J. (1815 - 1890)

This answer is also pasted in my other web sites namely: -

Thursday, March 1, 2007


Mr. S. Patrick Whaley
of Johnson & Johnson Ltd.

I narrate here my experience of working in the field with my
Managing Director, in May 1966, at Bangalore. What a really memorable experience it was to work with a great human being.

What a great charismatic person Mr. S. Patrick Whaley, my Managing Director, Johnson & Johnson Ltd., was to an ordinary salesman as I was then.

Sometime in May 1966, I got an express telegram at Madras from my Sales Manager. He wanted me to receive our Managing Director at Bangalore Airport. I was a little nervous first because many a time working in the Bombay Office, I have witnessed his blasting at top Sales Executives always using adverse, ear-unfriendly adjectives. When he grew angry over a right cause he never cared about time, context and others’ presence in front. He was short and stocky and to my understanding was of Scottish origin. His gait was fast and straight. While we worked in the hall, I used to see him opening the cabinets of executives and entering in it in lightning fastness. If we did not hear his shouts inside we were sure of him coming out with an enchanting smile. Every now and then the Executives’ cabinets will have new coats of paints. The office was kept spick-and-span. It was one of the few organizations in India then to have Saturday as a weekly holiday. Fifteen minutes after the working hours a host of workers will emerge with wood polish cans and buckets, full of water to polish the furniture and wash the floors. This was a daily routine. The company employed a few assistants for help, but no peons. The staff was to wear pants, a full- sleeved shirt with a tie of his choice. The shoes had to shine with everyday polishing. All employees observed these defined norms without fail.

One day I wore a half-sleeved shirt as the full-sleeved shirt was unavailable and to my bad luck I had to cross the Managing Director at the passage. He stopped for a second, looked at my shirt and then left. That was the first and last day I wore a half-sleeved shirt in the office because I knew the meaning of that look. Later in my stint at Bombay office, whenever I crossed him at the passage I was the recipient of a charming smile from him. He had never told me, but I assumed that he had a special regard for me because many a time he found me working late hours in the office either drafting a distributor agreement or a salesman’s appointment or typing out in the absence of the concerned Secretary. To the best of my understanding Mr. Patrick Whaley’s was a direct appointment from J & J abroad and his role was to further promote J & J brand name in India. He was a dynamic and aggressive person who not only promoted the image of J & J in India, but also, established its production facility at Mulund in Bombay. The factory was posh, modern and was known for its architectural excellence and exclusiveness. In front of the factory there was a vast lush green lawn, which was the talk and envy of the city’s industrial circles and the admiration of the connoisseurs. The factory had music channels spread all over. A call to an employee will be conveyed through the internal address system. Visitors were not allowed inside but asked to sit at the reception and the concerned person will be called to the reception for the meeting. If any one has to go inside the factory he will be provided with a white uniform and a cap that reminds one of a Doctor’s surgery attire. Food equal to the quality of five star hotels was provided at the canteen by uniformed staff at an unbelievable low rate. Mr. Whaley delegated powers to his subordinates in such a way that everything went on as he desired and none could even dream of coming to J & J level those days. The factory responsibility was delegated to an Italian, De Angeli by name and I could see him every now and then in our city office reporting to Mr. Patrick Whaley. Mr. Win Chadha - a big-built man -, another good human being was his choice as the General Sales Manager. When Mr. Win Chadha enters the office in the morning it was our custom to stand up and wish him “Good Morning”.

So at this old age too I visualise Mr. Patrick Whaley as a great man of great qualities, great ability and a great administrator who could never be equaled in any standard. He practiced his vision to perfection at an age when no industries could ever think of these types of modern and progressive concepts.

This was the person I was going to meet - He was a person of perfection and I, an ordinary industrial salesman. I could remember for a while his two faces - one emitting fury and the other sporting a bewitching smile. Working in Bombay office I never had an opportunity to talk to him face to face and I never knew what his attitude would be to his Salesman.

A day before his expected arrival I landed in Bangalore to take care of his stay and comforts. I went to the West End Hotel and booked the best room for him. Then, his conveyance! West End had a car hire service firm run by a tall Anglo-Indian. I ran to him. It never occurred to me that he would need a special car to suit his dignity. Fiat, Ambassador and Standard cars were the only Indian cars then. I told the person that any one of these would do. He said he did not have such cars. He then led me to the yard and showed me a number of cars parked over there. Pointing out a majestic glistening Chevrolet car he said in his inimitable style “SHE will suit you” and I agreed.

Then I remembered the School Inspection in my early days. We students used to receive a thorough coaching for two days and the school premises would be kept clean and tidy. The Inspector would return happy and elated after the inspection of the school awarding marks to himself to his liking over his administrative competence. I learned the right lesson and from my hotel room I telephoned to some industries and some stationers that Mr. Whaley would like to meet them. They had a great liking for me and they were happy.

Flight from Bombay was to arrive in the morning, later than 10 a. m. Around 9 “SHE” came and was parked inside the middle-class hotel I was staying and the driver came to my room. I walked majestically to “HER”; the driver opened the door and I entered in and sat comfortably. Too early to go to the airport, I concluded. I thought I would make a sales call without wasting time at the airport. Hindustan Aeronautics Ltd., was adjacent to the airport. Take me to HAL, I commanded. “Yes Sir”, the driver agreed. As a salesman it was very difficult for me to convince the gate staff to go inside the HAL factory. They will ask a lot of questions and for each one I had to meticulously answer to gain entry.

As “she” approached the gate the entire gate staff stood up and saluted me. I came out and went to the gate and asked them whether I could go in. “O K Sir” they replied. I went in, attended to my job and when I came out there was a second mass salute waiting for me. All, “she” did it for me. There I learned the first lesson on ‘image’. It was time to reach the H A L Airport. I rushed up. The Avro Aircraft landed on time.

I was gazing at the array of people coming down. A group of Saffron clad men were among them. My great personal problem is that, always when something curious happens my imagination goes wild and start scanning through bushes. I started thinking irrelevantly why these people preferred to travel in a plane while retaining the old and traditional rishi styles in dress. Instead of concentrating on my target I was watching and wondering at these persons. Minutes ticked-by.

“Thomas, Come”, a mild tap on my shoulder awakened me. Turning to the side I saw the smiling face of Mr. Patrick Whaley. Changing his bag to his left hand, he held me by my hand and started walking. “Where is the car”, he asked. “It is waiting, Sir”. He released my hand and in the meantime the well-trained driver rushed forward, saluted him, took his bag in his hand and all of us proceeded to the car. Seeing the car he was very happy and the driver courteously led him in. On the way was Higginbotham’s bookstall and he bought some books. They were our customers and Mr. Whaley was happy when the Manager exchanged pleasantries with me. His second stop was a retail liquor shop. He went in and came out with a crate of beer. From there we proceeded to the Hotel. He asked me to go back and refresh myself and meet him an hour later when he would accompany me to my customers. Earlier I had told him that no time would be wasted as industries and stationers can be met by planning our calls. An hour later, I returned to the Hotel and he was ready for the visits.

As I opened the door and he entered the back seat and proceeded to the front seat, he held my hand and asked me to sit by his side. I could not believe it. First, he asked me where I was staying and enquired about how comfortable I was in that hotel. My reply was positive. Then he asked about my personal life. He knew that I married earlier that year and enquired about my wife. By the time he had changed me from a man in awe to a man in admiration of a unique personality. I explained to him that after my marriage in January my wife had to go back to Jabalpore to complete the academic year where she taught and she was expected on the same day I was in Bangalore with him. I told him I had arranged a person to receive her at the Station in my absence. He felt very sorry that his visit had taken me away from her after months of absence immediately after the marriage. He expressed his regret and asked me to accompany him in the same flight he was taking to Madras that evening. I told him, having come I would like to work in Bangalore for two more days before returning to Madras. He was more surprised than impressed at my attitude. He then told me of his interests in Ayurvedic medicines and he referred to some as magic medicines like the one indicated for Jaundice. He asked me about the availability of industrial land in Bangalore and as a visionary said, Bangalore with its climate offered good investment for multinationals. Bangalore was not developed then and the only good hotel was the West End, under Spencer management if I remember correctly. Casually he said, “Thomas, the best investment is in real estates and not in LIC and other savings. Whatever little you have you invest in land and you will be amazed about its growth value-wise. Throughout he talked to me like a friend and a guide. I had really tasted an employer’s affection for an ordinary worker of his.

My first destination was Reliance Stationery Mart at Commercial Street owned by one Mr. Murthy. He was my well wisher, and I was confident that he would have a good stock of our products. I introduced Mr. Whaley to him and turned on to the shelf where our products were displayed and to my dismay not a single product of ours were there, instead it was full of our competitor’s product. Mr. Whaley was stunned and looked at me. “Sir, Thomas is a good and sincere salesman; but we can’t get along with your awful distributor. So we changed. Don’t blame Thomas, Sir, Change your distributor and see the change here the next time you come.” Mr. Whaley came out thanking Mr. Murthy. As we neared the car I was still not out of the shock. My future was in this person’s hands. What he will do, I feared the worst.

“What is this, Thomas, who is your Distributor”? I told him his name
“What are you going to do with this distributor? He seems very unpopular and does not fit in our set up.” I talked to him frankly. “The distributor was not appointed by me, he was our consumer products distributor and he was unfit to be an industrial product distributor. But in spite of my adverse reports my Sales Manager insists that he should be retained. I do not know, why? I replied.

“Look Thomas, you have to remove him. He is unfit to be our distributor. How soon are you going to remove him?

“Instantly I will report to my Sales Manager and your advice too will be conveyed to him. In a month or so you will find another one in his place”. He did not smile; he just laughed. “We are governed by certain agreements with our distributors. Besides we have to be fair to them even if they were a little unfair to us. Further we have to find another suitable one to replace him lest our business will further suffer. It is hard, these days to find one and we should not repeat the same mistake. So proceed cautiously.”

In my mind I saluted his deep wisdom and mature approach to business practices. The next visit was to Kissan Products where we had met the Sales Manager Mr. Oberoi, who was in all praise for me - a kind gesture - told him that the company was lucky to have me as a salesman. Again, an enchanting smile from Mr. Whaley! He took us to the factory floor where the jams were made and the packaging process they followed. Mr. Whaley was very happy. Coming out Mr. Whaley expressed his desire to buy some Pears, which he thought would be available in plenty in Bangalore. The Driver took us to the fruit market and Mr. Whaley walked through leftovers and rubbish strewn in the market, with me and we scanned the entire market and we could not get one. Even this day when I see a pear I remember Mr. Whaley and I feel sad that he could not get it from Bangalore. It was nearing 3.00 p.m and Mr. Whaley advised me to go on with my job and he would retain the car till he left for Madras from Bangalore. He had appointments with some pharmaceutical products manufacturers in Bangalore, which he had to keep. I told the Driver that I would be returning to the Hotel and settling the bills myself. I paid him some money and left.

For days together Mr. Whaley was in my mind with his enchanting smile, his maturity of business thoughts and his wisdom coated solution to problems. He was very nice and kind to me. During the hours I spent with him, he came down to my level to make me feel at home. He expressed his genuine concern over my welfare.

The story does not end here. Several months later there was a Sales Conference in Bombay. One night our division held a cocktail party. Mr. Whaley participated in the party. From a distance I was watching him. I always detested alcohol and was standing away. Mr. Whaley soon found me out. He rushed to his secretary Mrs. Bell and brought her to me. “Look Mrs. Bell, this was the boy - I was 33 then - I was working with, in Bangalore. His customers like him very much.” He then turned to me and enquired about my wife and specially asked me whether I was happy in life. Incidentally, Mr. Whaley was a widower. He also did not fail to enquire how angry my wife was when she came down to Madras and found out that he had taken me away from her on her return to Madras. I just smiled. He shook my hands, wished me and left along with Mrs. Bell.

I do not know when Mr. Whaley left India. It was my keen desire to send him a basket full of Pears, which never materialized much to my distress and grief. When he left he addressed a Press conference and one reporter put up a question of the “hire and fire” policy of J & J. His reply was that “a company should not operate on the whims and fancies of individuals. If a person wants to leave, let him leave. If a person is not needed and his presence is damaging to the interests of the company he should be sent out immediately. A company should always keep the next man ready to take over and fill in the vacancy. I believed in this principle and this policy had borne fruits” (The above was the basics and not a word-to-word reproduction of his press statement)

Mr. Patrick Whaley is surely not living now. But great men like him leave eternal footprints worthy of adoration and adaptation. I have a space reserved for him in my heart which only death can erase.
What a great personality he was! by: - K. Mathew Thomas


My loving God, you have destined me to be a physician by profession.

My loving God, you have destined me to practice my profession, with dignity and devotion.

My loving God, you have destined me to accept your gift of ‘healing through LOVE’

My loving God, you have destined me to learn that love in healing can be applied through selflessness alone.

My loving God, you have destined me to empathize with my brethren to serve them with talents you graciously bestowed on me.

My loving God, I thank you for all the bliss I enjoy in my profession through your bountiful grace.

And this my Lord, is my gift to you for what you have ordained me to be - by duty, devotion, determination and dignity - A PHYSICIAN in the service of humanity. K. Mathew Thomas

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

If you wish to win in life go on reading the best

(infosys foundation) on

(This appeared in the February 2005 issue of The Sales Digest)

(An Angry letter from a young lady made JRD Tata change his rule. Sudha Murthy was livid when a job advertisement posted by a Tata company at the institution where she was completing her post graduation stated, “Lady candidates need not apply”. She dashed off a post card to JRD Tata, protesting against the discrimination. Following this, Mrs. Murthy was called for an interview and she became the first female engineer to work on the shop floor at Telco (now Tata Motors). It was the beginning of an association that would change her life in more ways than one.)

“ THERE are two photographs that hang on my office wall. Everyday when I enter my office I look at them before starting my day. They are pictures of two old people. One is of a gentleman in a blue suit and the other is a black and white image of a man with dreamy eyes and a white beard.

People have often asked me if the people in the photographs are related to me. Some have even asked me, “Is this black and white photo that of a Sufi saint or a religious Guru?” I smile and reply “No, nor are they related to me. These people made an impact on my life. I am grateful to them.” “Who are they?” “The man in the blue suit is Bharat Ratna JRD Tata and the black and white photo is of Jamshetji Tata.”

“But why do you have them in your office?”
“You can call it gratitude.”

Then, invariably, I have to tell the person the following story: -

It was a long time ago. I was young and bright, bold and idealistic. I was in the final year of my master’s course in Computer Science at the Indian Institute of Science (IISc) in Bangalore, then known as the TATA Institute. Life was full of fun and joy. I did not know what helplessness or injustice meant. It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and Gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies’ hostel. Other girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science. I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a Doctorate in Computer Science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US.

I had not thought of taking up a job in India. One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc. At the bottom was a small line: “Lady candidates need not apply.” I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was up against gender discrimination. Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male peers. Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough to be successful?
After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform the top most person in Telco’s management about the injustice the company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco. I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually, Sumant Moolgaokar was the company’s Chairman then). I took the card, addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly what I wrote. “The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who started the basic infrastructure industries in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives. They have cared for higher education in India, since 1900 and they were responsible for the establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is discriminating on the basis of gender.”

I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco’s Pune facility at the company’s expense. I was taken aback by the telegram. My hostel mate told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs. 30 each from everyone who wanted a Sari. When I look back, I feel like laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good enough to make the trip. I immediately fell in love with the city. To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways.

As directed, I went to Telco’s Pimpri office for the interview. There were six people on the panel and I realized then that this was serious business. “This is the girl who wrote to JRD,” I heard somebody whisper as soon as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the job. The realization abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather cool while the interview was being conducted.

Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I told them, rather politely, “I hope this is only a technical interview.” They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed about my attitude.

The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them. Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, “Do you know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed college; this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work in research laboratories.”

I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited place. I did not know the ways of large Corporate Houses and their difficulties; so I answered, “But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will ever be able to work in your factories.”

Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we became good friends and we got married.
It was only after joining Telco that I realized who JRD was: the uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show some reports to Mr. Moolgaokar, our Chairman, who we all knew as SM. I was in his office on the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I saw “aapro JRD”. Aapro means “our” in Gujarati. This was the affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.

I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM introduced me nicely, “Jeh (that’s what his close associates called him), this young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate. She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor.”

JRD looked at me. I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my interview (or the postcard that preceded it). Thankfully, he didn’t. Instead, he remarked. “It is nice that girls are getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your name?” “When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir,” I replied. “Now I am Sudha Murthy.” He smiled a kindly smile and started a discussion with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room. After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had in common. I was in awe of him.

One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard. Looking back, I realize JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a small incident for him, but not so for me.

“Young lady, why are you here?” He asked. Office time is over.” I said, “Sir, I’m waiting for my husband to come and pick me up.” JRD said, “It is getting dark and there’s no one in the corridor. I’ll wait with you till your husband comes.” I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting alongside made me extremely uncomfortable. I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There wasn’t any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, “Look at this person. He is a Chairman, a well respected man in our country and he is waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee.”

Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, “Young lady, tell your husband never to make his wife wait again.”

In 1982 I had to resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was absorbed in thought. I wanted to say good-bye to him, so I stopped. He saw me and paused.

Gently, he said, “So what are you doing, Mrs. Kulkarni?” (That was the way he always addressed me.) “Sir, I am leaving Telco.” “Where are you going?” He asked. “Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a company called Infosys and I’m shifting to Pune.”

“Oh! And what will you do when you are successful.” “Sir, I don’t know whether we will be successful.” “Never start with diffidence,” he advised me. “Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. I wish you all the best.” Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive.

Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House, occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, “It was nice hearing about Jeh from you. The sad part is that he’s not alive to see you today.”

I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice. He must have received thousands of letters everyday. He could have thrown mine away, but he didn’t do that. He respected the intentions of that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he changed her life and mindset forever.

Close to 50 per cent of the students in today’s engineering colleges are girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry segments. I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly.

My love and respect for the House of Tata remain undiminished by the passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the same vastness and magnificence.”

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house.
However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal, he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”

“You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.”

He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later, that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor’s gown, he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day, he gave special attention to the case. After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all.

Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words: “PAID IN FULL WITH ONE GLASS OF MILK” (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.”

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers”. (Socrates, 5th Century BC)

“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.” (Proverbs 31:10-21, MSG)

When friends enter a home they sense its personality and character, the family’s style of living—these elements make a house come alive with a sense of identity, a sense of energy, enthusiasm, and warmth, declaring, this is who we are; this is how we live. (Ralph Lauren)

“The great teachings unanimously emphasize that all the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don't have to gain, develop, or attain them. We're like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don't need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we really are -- as soon as we quit pretending we're small or unholy”UNKNOWN:

The Gate Is Broken

St. Peter was checking the gate between Heaven and Hell and found a broken hinge. He walked over to the “Pit” and called to the Devil...The Devil says, “Yeah, whaddya want..?”, St. Peter: “The hinge is broken and it’s your turn to fix it..” . The Devil retorted: “Gee, I am a bit busy and don’t have anyone available for this..” , St. Peter got angry, “Look, we have an agreement, and it’s your turn to fix the gate..!”. The Devil responded, “Sorry Pete, it’s our peak season and there just isn’t anyone available...” St. Peter turned red and exclaimed...”Ok, if that’s the way you want it, we’ll sue..!” A big grin broke out on the Devil’s face, “Oh yeah, and just where are you going to find a lawyer...?!”
"In the absence of the best, the worst becomes the best."
Makanyane Joseph Mmopedi

"Our job is to sell our clients' merchandise . . . not ourselves. Our job is to kill the cleverness that makes us shine instead of the product. Our job is to simplify, to tear away the unrelated, to pluck out the weeds that are smothering the product message."
William Bernbach

"It takes courage to be creative. Just as soon as you have a new idea, you are a minority of one."
E. Paul Torrance

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when you grow up."
Pablo Picasso

"The secret of true genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm."
Aldous Huxley

"Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle."
Ken Hakuta

"When all think alike, no one is thinking very much."
Walter Lippmann (1889-1974)

"Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of."
Geri Weitzman

"Quality is remembered long after the price is forgotten."
Gucci family slogan

"Quality isn't something that can be argued into an article or promised into it. It must be put there. If it isn't put there, the finest sales talk in the world won't act as a substitute."
C.G. Campbell

"A good newspaper, I suppose, is a nation talking to itself."
Arthur Miller

"The Internet holds immense potential as a marketing tool. As an interactive medium that reaches around the world, it promises an inter-personalization of advertising. As mass communication becomes mass-interpersonal communication, marketing efforts become more efficient, effective, and extensive."
Jef I. Richards, Legal Potholes on the Information Superhighway, 1997.

"If commerce is the engine of our economy, then advertising is the spark.
Responsible advertisers are the drivers who keep us on the
right track, leading to a richer, more benevolent society."
Brian Philcox, 1991.

"The first thing one must do to succeed in advertising is to have the attention of the reader. That means to be interesting. The next thing is to stick to the truth, and that means rectifying whatever's wrong in the merchant's business. If the truth isn't tell-able, fix it so it is. That is about all there is to it."
John E. Powers, 19th Century copywriter.

Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. --Norman Vincent Peale

To go fast, row slowly. --Norman Vincent Peale

One way to become enthusiastic is to look for the plus sign. To make progress in any difficult situation, you have to start with what's right about it and build on that. --Norman Vincent Peale

The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center. So does a person. --Norman Vincent Peale

Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be. --Norman Vincent Peale

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. --Norman Vincent Peale

Life's blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed at the fire of enthusiasm. --Norman Vincent Peale

Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will. --Norman Vincent Peale Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Anybody can do just about anything with [themselves] that [he/she] really wants to and makes up [their] mind to do. We are all capable of greater things than we realize. --Norman Vincent Peale

Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory. --Norman Vincent Peale Positive Thinking Every Day

Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit. --Norman Vincent Peale Positive Thinking Every Day

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you thing about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are. --Norman Vincent Peale

Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be. --Norman Vincent Peale

Too much caution is bad for you. By avoiding things you fear, you may let yourself in for unhappy consequences. It is usually wiser to stand up to a scary-seeming experience and walk right into it, risking the bruises as hard knocks. You are likely to find it is not as tough as you had thought. Or you may find it plenty tough, but also discover you have what it takes to handle it. --Norman Vincent Peale Minister and Author
Healing power and curative properties

Nutmeg was used in the preparations of various medicines in ancient times. Even today, it is used in several important and widely used pharmaceutical preparations. The oil extracted from the herb is used in liniments, perfumery, hair lotions and as an antispasmodic carminative.
Digestive disorders

The powder of nutmeg, about 5 to 15 grams, mixed with apple juice or banana, is used as a specific remedy for diarrhoea caused by indigestion of food. The same quantity of nutmeg powder taken with a tablespoon of fresh amla juice thrice daily is effective for indigestion, hiccups and morning sickness.

The powder of nutmeg, mixed with fresh amla juice, is also an effective medicine for insomnia, irritability and depression. Nutmeg paste mixed with honey is given to infants who cry at night for no apparent reason, to induce sleep. It should, however, not be given regularly without medical advice as it may cause serious complications and addiction in infants.

The herb is useful in treating dehydration caused by vomiting and diarrhoea, particularly in cholera. An infusion prepared from half a nutmeg in half a litre of water given with tender coconut water in doses of 15 grams at a time, is an effective treatment.
Skin disorders

Nutmeg is used in the treatment of skin diseases like ringworm and eczema. The paste of the herb prepared by rubbing it on a stone slab in one's own early morning saliva – before cleansing the mouth – is applied once daily as a specific remedy in the treatment of these conditions.
A nutmeg coarsely powdered and fried in til oil, until all the particles become brown, is very useful as an external application to relieve any rheumatic pain, neuralgia and sciatica. The oil should be cooled and strained before application.
Common cold

In case of a running nose, a paste made from this with cow's milk and 75 mg of opium should be applied to the forehead and the nose, it will provide quick relief.
Nutmeg should be taken in very small doses; in appreciable doses it excites the motor cortex and produces epileptic convulsions and lesions in the liver. Even a teaspoon of nutmeg can produce toxic symptoms such as burning in the stomach, nausea, vomiting, restlessness and giddiness with hallucinations.
Sex stimulant

Nutmeg, mixed with honey and a half-boiled egg, makes an excellent sex tonic. It prolongs the duration of the sexual act if taken an hour before intercourse.

In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists, and I did not speak up, because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak up, because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak up, because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I did not speak up, because I was not a Catholic. Then they came for me... and by that time, there was no one to speak up for anyone. -- Martin Niemoeller, Pastor,
German Evangelical (Lutheran) Church

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
President of the United States

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
n Albert Einstein


by Louis McBurney, M.D.
“Commitment” is not a popular word in our culture. Our society emphasizes individual rights, personal freedom and mobility. The idea of giving these up because of dedication to another person or loyalty to a relationship makes a lot of people feel trapped.But I don’t think you can have it both ways. You can’t build a divorce-proof marriage and remain unbending toward your personal rights. That doesn’t mean you give up all your freedoms or choices, but it does mean your commitment to the relationship supercedes your individual rights.Commitment means putting your spouse’s needs above your own. Studies show that the best indicator of marital well-being is how well each partner feels his or her needs are being met. I’ve found that when I focus only on my needs and forget about my wife, I tend to get irritated and disappointed. I may even begin to imagine how much better off I’d be with a different wife. On the other hand, I feel satisfied when I focus on my wife’s needs and how I can creatively meet them.
Someone once said, “Communication is to love as blood is to the body.” Take the blood out of the body and it dies. Take communication away and a relationship dies.The kind of communication I’m talking about isn’t just exchanging information; it’s sharing feelings, hurts, joys. That means getting below the surface and examining the hows and whys of daily life.But it’s not easy since men and women are different in this area. Research makes it clear that women have greater linguistic abilities than men. Simply stated, she talks more than he. As an adult, she typically expresses her feelings and thoughts far better than her husband and is often irritated by his reluctance to talk. Every knowledgeable marriage counselor will tell you that the inability or unwillingness of husbands to reveal their feelings is one of the chief complaints of wives.Like conflict resolution, communication is a learned skill — and it’s often hard work. Time must be reserved for meaningful conversations. Taking walks and going out for dinner are conversation inducers that keep love alive.
We live in an instant world — fast foods, cash machines, computer access to information, direct dial communication all over the world.The problem is we can’t heat up a marriage in the microwave. Relationships just don’t work that way. Marriage, especially takes time and care to become really beautiful. That means learning patience.When you put two people — any two — in the same house, you’re going to have irritations and annoyances. There are times when I think God designed marriage just to teach me patience. My wife doesn’t always respond like I wish she would. And she still expects me to pick up my dirty clothes, be on time for dinner and remember her birthday You’d think that after 30 years of marriage, she would have given up on me. In the meantime I’m considering humoring her a little. Recently I even put my underwear on the floor next to the laundry hamper. I wonder how she’s doing with patience.Beyond the day-to-day quirks and foibles you must accept, patience is needed for the long haul. It may take years for you to develop the kind of relationship that’s satisfying to both of you. A lot of people don’t have the patience to wait around for things to evolve. But if you’re willing to sit tight and hang in there, your marriage can be fantastic.Strong beliefs. We’re more than a bundle of feelings and physical sensations. There is an inner core of our being, an eternal part of who we are, that represents the deepest, most permanent aspect of marriage. Research shows that couples with strong religious beliefs are far more likely to stay together than those without them. It’s the shared morals and values that hold a husband and wife together. This solid foundation is a fortress against the storms of life. For my wife and me, our Christian faith has been the bedrock of our relationship. In our 30-plus years of marriage, we have consistently turned to the Bible for direction, guidance and comfort.
Trouble spots
There are a lot of problems that can cripple or fatally wound a marriage. Here are some of the common ones:Relying on feelings rather than commitment. Romantic feelings come and go, and many spouses get nervous when the flame dies down. They begin to doubt their relationship and wonder if they married the wrong person. A lot of those misgivings are fueled by the media, which says any successful relationship must run on high-octane passion.You’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you think marriage will be one long, steamy love scene. Sometimes it’s pure commitment and persistence that keeps a marriage together. In all marriages there are times when the tingle of romance fades. At those times, commitment is the force that pulls you through.Being selfish rather than serving. In today’s world, there are a lot more takers than givers. When two givers do get together, their marriage is usually fantastic. When a giver and a taker marry it’s usually lopsided, out of whack and full of trouble. And the marriage of two takers can crash and burn within a matter of months. Selfishness will damage a marriage, but serving will solidify it.Allowing marital drift. In geography class you may have learned about continental drift, where huge “plates” of earth move slowly and imperceptibly in opposite directions. The same thing happens in a lot of marriages. The shift is often so subtle that one day the partners wake up and say “I don’t really know who you are anymore.” And how can you keep from drifting? By talking regularly setting mutual goals for your marriage, planning the future together, playing together, cultivating shared interests and fanning the flame of romance.Letting your eyes and heart wander. There’s an old song that said, “I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time. I keep the ends loose for the tie that binds. Because you’re mine, I walk the line.” You know that’s an old song, since the idea of loyalty doesn’t crop up in lyrics much anymore. I’ve been around long enough to see how subtly the line between “friends” and “lovers” can be blurred. What begins as a pleasant friendship glides silently across the line. The only way to really avoid those boundary violations is to watch for the early warning signs. If you begin to notice that someone lights up your life a little too much, back off! If you find yourself looking forward to the next time you can be together, cancel it.One sure way to ruin your marriageThe media have done us a great disservice by making a big joke out of affairs and unfaithfulness. By watching TV and movies, you’d think that everybody is hopping from bed to bed — and it’s no big deal. The truth is, however, that sexual infidelity is one of the primary causes of divorce. Even those marriages that do survive infidelity are greatly damaged. Here are some things you can do to stay out of that trap:Know the truth. Maximum sexual fulfillment comes in a committed marriage relationship. So if you really want the best, don’t cheat. You’ll be cheating yourself as well as your spouse.Build your emotional closeness. The better you get along with each other, the better your sex will be and the less tempting other people will be.Confide in your spouse rather than an opposite sex friend. Becoming emotionally intimate makes sexual unfaithfulness an easy step. Most affairs begin as an innocent friendship.Guard your thoughts. Don’t risk fantasizing about other romantic attachments. Your actions will tend to follow your thoughts.
Keep romance alive:
Long-term marriage doesn’t have to become dull and boring, but keeping romance alive takes a conscious effort. It’s your choice to maintain the excitement and enchantment.Don’t listen to the marriage cynics. These days, a lot of people put down marriage, like the comedian who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married — but by then it was too late.” Or the talk show host who quipped, “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” In fact, you’ve probably had friends say “Why would you want to get married?” Don’t listen to the humbuggers. Good marriages bring fun and laughter and meaning to life. Even after three decades, my wife and I still have a blast being together. Our love is like a thousand violins playing Tchaikovsky (for you it might be electric guitars or synthesizers). It’s the thrill of shared experiences, building memories and facing new challenges. And it’s so much more!Still, I can’t emphasize this enough — marriage takes hard work and commitment. With divorce so rampant today many young couples enter marriage with one eye on the exit door. But it takes an unwavering commitment — not giving yourselves an out — to keep a marriage healthy and thriving. It’s choosing to be kind and giving and courteous and affectionate and affirming. That choice is the glue that will hold you together. Even when the adrenaline rush is gone and the music fades, the love will live on.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Welcome to Web Friends International


This site is being developed to serve International Community
through Education, Enlightenment and Entertainment.
We plan the site to be a treasure-chest of knowledge,
wisdom and intelligence. We invite you to be an active partner
in our pursuit to transform and reform the world to be a better
place to live in. Please share your knowledge, experience and
wisdom with members of this world community.
You can send us articles covering
a wider perspective; the encounters you faced in life and
your happy and sorrowful tales; funny
and stray incidents that transformed your life. Senior citizens
will find this site most interesting; the youth will find it as
a source of guidance and for children to gain the necessary
guidance in life during their formative years.
The householders can make their leisure-time
worth-spending by reading the wisdom passed through
by elders and men/women of eminence.
Mathew Thomas, The Sales Digest